A One Cat Master

A One Cat Master

I have a cat.  His name is Max.  He is 20 years old.  He is my first born.  He is my best friend. 

Max came home to live with us after we had been married a year.  We already had one cat, a girl named Silver.  Now I love cats, really love cats, but Silver and I didn’t see eye to eye.  First of all she loved my husband and was jealous of me.  She would hiss, bat and generally ignore me.  But I love cats, so I loved her.  We decided to get another cat to help.  We figured the reason she was ornery was because she was lonely as my husband and I were working all night and most evenings.  So we headed out to the nearest pet store and found the cutest little boy kitten.  He was tiny, a brown short haired tabby and the sweetest little thing.  He was challenged.  He couldn’t retrieve his claws.  We chose him.  Well, truth told he was the only boy available and I wanted a boy cat this time.  So we brought him home, but we needed a name?  We went to dinner (I do not remember where) but I remember the conversation.  What should we name him?  I am sure there was a litany of choices, but somehow we decided on Maxwell P.  Smart, due to his shall we say, mental challenges.  We called him Max for short.

Now, we lived in a trailer, not a mobile home as that would be too generous.  It was a thirty year old trailer in a trailer park.  We had a couch from Value City.  My husband had gutted it out to attempt to make it a decent living environment.  Max and I would play on the couch and then all of a sudden he would be asleep. Funny thing is, now that he is 20 years old, the situation is similar. 

Over the years as we lead busy lives yet Max is always there.  He is a simple, happy boy.  He doesn’t have many needs.  He is shy. He loves to eat.  He loves the outside.

Max is shy.  He loves his Momma.  My Dad had a deep sometimes loud voice and Max would hide from him as a kitten.  Whenever people came to our house Max could never be found.  Guests didn’t believe we even had another cat.  Nick would greet them at the door.  Hang out in the same room.   Allow the children to chase him, but not Max.  He would hide.  In later years because of hearing loss he is visible to anyone in the house because he can’t hear them.  He evens jump on a few strange laps now and then, but for the most part he hangs out with his Momma.   Every night while reading in bed Max will join me for a good book.  He will crawl up on my chest and paw the back of the book.  He either wants to read with me or doesn’t like the attention I am giving this strange animal.

Max loves to eat.  At one time he was overweight and we were concerned about his health.  At dinner time we had a rule, “two paw limit” so Max wouldn’t jump on the time with all fours.  As he grew older he developed a challenge with his thyroid.  At 20, he is losing weight.  He still cries for food, especially since he is deaf and doesn’t know he is actually yelling.  We feed him canned food now so he can chew easier.  I end up throwing away as much as I put in the bowl.  I think he licks most of it but actually eats little.    

Max loves the outside. We would put Max on a leash to go outside.  I tried to get him to walk on the leash, but he had no interest in that. Sometimes we would forget he was on the leash outside and go to bed, and then suddenly remember Max is outside.  One of us would jump out of bed and run to rescue him.  As I said, he loved being outside.  Although now at 20 he only goes out for short bits of time, perhaps two or three minutes, but he still loves being outside.

Max is a “one master cat”.  Last weekend, we rented a movie called “Red Dog”, a true story.  It is based in Australia in the 70’s.  At first glance I wasn’t sure it was an appropriate movie for my daughters, age nine and seven, but as the movie continued it focused on the extraordinary life of this dog.  They called him a “one master dog”.  He loved his master, and after his master’s death the dog waited for him and then roamed the countryside to find him.  His loyalty reminded me of Max.  Max loves me unconditionally.  Max is always there for me.  Max likes to sit with me in my sunroom while I pray and meditate.  If I am in the kitchen, he is often by my side hoping for a treat.  While watching T.V. he sits with me trying to find a comfy spot even with his arthritic hips.  Later in the evening while reading, although he cannot jump on the bed, he first hops on the nightstand first, then to the bed to join me for a good book. Then, at bedtime I find him already on his kitty condo or I gently carry him down.  In the morning, he howls to be let out and I carry him up the stairs.  Max is my guardian earth angel.  Besides my mother and my husband no one has journeyed with me longer with such love and devotion.  As we both grow older I cherish the moments we have together never knowing when the last day will come and I will no longer hear him purring by my side.  I think I am a “one cat master”. 

*Max passed away on Wednesday, February 20, 2013 at 21 years of age after having a stroke no longer able to see. 

He is forever loved and forever missed.             

Love, “with a heart of peace”,

Susan J. McFarland

October 2012  

Revised: February 2014     

The Place Between All and Nothing

The Place Between All and Nothing

The adage says, “give it your all or nothing at all”.  I have lived my life with this philosophy, whether it is in sports, work or life.  Often, in “living” this way, I wasn’t living at all, I was in survival mode. Yet, as I reach a milestone half way between 0-100, I find myself looking for the place between the all and the nothing.  In this place, I can relax, I can breathe and I can be.    

Fifteen years ago, while working a high stressed corporate job I decided to walk a marathon.  Now walking or running a marathon is a beautiful experience not only for the usual health benefits, but also because of the major sense of accomplishment, especially for a non-runner.  This marathon was for a worthy cause, children’s cancer and I was training with friends.  It was a perfect scenario.  Except for the fact that not only was my career in full force, but so was my social life, leaving little room for rest after the extensive marathon training.  I was certainly in the “all” mode.         

As is often the case, when we are over taxed in life, life reacts to balance us out.  I was “giving it my all” and ignoring the nothing part which is just as vital and essential to healthy living.  My body, specifically my back reacted by shutting me down for almost a month, where I could not even walk.  Through rest, which I fought every step of the way, I recovered enough to walk the marathon.  Yet, days before the event my body again reacted by having appendicitis.   I missed the marathon, instead lying in a hospital bed.

My mind was determined, my body and my spirit had another plan.  They wanted balance.  They wanted the place between the all and the nothing.  I didn’t listen.  A month later I had a seizure.  Thankfully the neurosurgeon said my body was over-stressed and its reaction was to shut down.  Learning my lesson¸ at least for the moment, I learned that when giving your all make sure you leave room for the nothing.

Flash forward, five years, after the birth of my daughter (and another seizure the day after her birth) I traveled to Guatemala to visit orphans.  Still in the corporate stressful job, now with a baby daughter to care for and the need to visit Guatemala to pursue an adoption, again I was “giving it my all”.  “Nothing” was nowhere to be found.  After preparing my work and my home for the trip, a full day flying down south and then a night with no sleep I met our sponsor child.  Upon seeing her I was overwhelmed with emotions and seizure three happened.  Lesson learned, for good this time.  This began my journey in finding the “place” between the “all” and the “nothing”, not just one or the other. 

Almost a decade after the first seizure as I waited for my daughter to come home from Guatemala I quit my corporate job in order to pursue “the place between all and nothing”.  I no longer feel driven or obsessed with “having it all”, “doing it all” or even “being all” to everyone.  Today, my life is balanced between prayer and meditation, caring for my family and pursuing my love of writing and humanitarian causes, while spending as much time outside as possible in the beauty and tranquility of Mother Earth.  I have found the “place between all and nothing”.  

Join me here even though it is a quiet place, it is also a healthy place.  Your mind, body and spirit will thank you.

Love, “with a heart of peace”,

Susan J. McFarland

February, 2014

A Reflection of Spring, "In the Garden"

In the Garden

 

"a reflection on a cold winter day"

Confessions need to be made as I am not a natural gardener.  So to all those who are, I honor and respect you more today than in the past.  I love plants, I love nature but I always found “working” in the yard a chore and a task I would rather not do.  I could never understand why some people found it relaxing and calming.  For me, it was work and work I didn’t want to do.  I find my joy in organizing things, items in my house, rooms, closets, ideas and projects.  This is fun, to me.  So, why I am writing today about “In the Garden”?

A few weeks back I treated myself to a session with Jeannine Proulx.  She is an intuitive counselor.  She had me meditate on “my garden”, whether inside or out, real or unseen.  I did, but found it strange that I of all people would be meditating on a garden space.  Shortly after that Minnie Kansman came to my house for a Feng Shui consult on my garden.  Because, without Jeannine knowing I had been contemplating starting a vegetable garden so I decided to have Minnie come to my yard to see where is the best location.  Minnie did offer ideas for the vegetable garden but also shared other thoughts with me about adding color to the front area of my yard and some additional pots near the garage.  We talked about the element of water on the side of the house and lastly we found a place for a “secret garden” near the front entrance.

In remembering Jeannine’s comments I was intrigued about the idea of a secret garden (although I guess it’s not so secret since I am sharing it with you.)  After making the other adjustments as Minnie suggested I focused on “My Garden.”  Starting with removing the weeds and the dead tree reminded me of clearing the unneeded and non-life affirming parts of my life.  The weeds were easy but I was in for a battle with the tree.  Although it was not a large tree I still needed the shovel to remove it.  I dug and dug and pushed and pushed and it didn’t move.  Finally I reach to grab the top of it and it easily and effortlessly broke off at the base.  Isn’t this how life is.  We think something that the releasing of an item that no longer serves us is difficult, yet sometimes with a quick grab we can let it go. 

Next, under Minnie’s guidance, I planted special stones and crystals in the area, asking the stones and spirit for the best location.  With tobacco, I thanked them and Mother Earth and gently placed them in their new locations.  Often, throughout our day we do things to Nature and ourselves that we do not stop and ask whether what we are doing is the best or highest and greatest good.  Do I want to be placed here in this location, with those people under these circumstances?  Some areas of the garden were near trees, others near plants, while some were in the shade and others in sunlight.  Asking yourself with the help of your spirit team for guidance assures that where you are placing yourself is in your best interest and the best interest of the Universe.

Lastly, I planted three sets of annuals in various locations following the same process, offering prayers and setting intentions for the “seeds” planted in order to have future growth.   I chose the color of the plants based on its meaning for me.  Surrounding the area with a final blessing of tobacco and thanking all the resident plants, bugs and earth for their assistance I ended my time “in the garden” with a meditation.  I loved this time in the garden.  It did not feel like a chore or a task but time with spirit.  As I finished up and walked to my backyard, I heard a noise as a baby fawn ran by me into the woods.    

June 2013

Susan J. McFarland

susanjmcfarland@yahoo.com

www.ofthevineholistichealth.com   

The Divine Order of the Universe; and my life

The Divine Order of the Universe; and my life

Believing in the Divine Order of the Universe is fine, but when it comes to trusting this fact in relationship to my life is where I find difficulty.  It is the first part of January, just coming off the holiday break.  There was an incredible storm at the beginning of this week, with high winds, excessively low temperatures and sufficient amounts of snow.  The kids were planning on returning to school after a two week break.  Although we were ready for the end of the break the Universe had different goals.

Admittedly I am a planner.  It’s not so much the details that I like but the knowing what the next move is and finding security in that thought.  This gives me a feeling of being in control of my environment, when in reality I am not.  Creator is in control.  Logically in my mind I understand this, but often my heart doesn’t follow this trust.  Why is this? What can I do about it, if anything?

As the week progressed and the kids were back in school, I relaxed into the comfort of my routine.  Each morning after the kids leave I carve out time for prayer, meditation, reading and writing.  In the middle of my quiet time the phone rang.  I answered it, as school often calls my home number.  It was a repair man to fix a recurrent problem with my furnace.  He was on his way.  What?  I had my whole day planned out.  How could I adjust to a disruption in my perfect plan?  Immediately I started organizing and cleaning my home.  This is my response to stress.  I become anxious and filled with anxiety, then in order to calm this feeling I pick up stuff laying around or wipe counters in an effort to relax.  As I become aware of my reaction, I finally settle down again and continue on with my day, yet feeling unsettled with the new schedule.

Perhaps I am alone in this feeling, but I doubt it.  Why, as a human is it so hard to “go with the flow” or “be in the moment” in the NOW.  I struggle with this probably more than anything.  It’s a New Year and with a new year comes new opportunities for growth.  In 2014, I want to not just recognize this anxiety and adjust accordingly, but I want to eradicate this belief from my mindset.  My intention for this year and beyond is to embrace these moments, as they are daily occurrences and the true reality of living in this world.  

I will continue to pray, meditate, read and write to help me connect with Spirit and to manage my stress levels throughout the day focusing on the knowledge that I am causing them myself.  They are perceived, and if they are created by me than I have the power to change them at any given time.  Assistance is always there to help, so call on your spirit guides and angels as well as Creator to help you.  Trusting in the Divine Order of life for yourself and the world will bring you lasting peace and eternal joy.  

Love, "with a heart of peace",

Susan